Fixing a Broken Heart
My first heartbreak happened at an age of 14. I was devastated and it took me 2 years to eventually move on. My second heartbreak happened at the age of 21. It was even more painful but it took me 1.5 years to move on. The most recent one happened a few days ago. It was equally painful but it took me 30 days to move on. I think I am now used to it and can get over it quickly. I am vaccinated for heartbreaks, I guess :). Who knows?
Heartbreaks are probably the most painful emotional suffering for a human. It is a fight with oneself. The fight is so difficult that no one can comprehend the complexity unless he/she has been heartbroken. I have seen that even the toughest people take years to get over heartbreak. It feels like you are fighting the entire universe. The universe wants to break you down. The universe wants you to bend your knees and obey. Days keep passing by and you keep aging. All the dreams of a person have been shattered at once and the shock is too much for the person to cope up with. Hope just makes things worse. Methadone, a chemical released by our brain, forces one to keep clinging to dreams which could never be fulfilled. Methadone, like any other drug, is addictive! A heartbroken person feels great for some time when he/she hopes for the dream to come true someday. But once the methadone release is over, the person falls back to the same state of despair. This goes on over and over again for several months or years. Fixing a broken heart is the same as rehabilitation. It is like controlling the addiction to cocaine when you have been consuming it for several years.
What makes a heartbreak different from depression and anxiety? You can think of heartbreak as a combination of depression, sorrow, guilt, and hope. The person takes the entire blame of the situation on oneself. The person does everything to keep attached to the situation or the other person. Heartbreak is like cancer. It grows as one keeps attached to it. It drowns the person more and more. Depression, sorrow, and guilt try their best to kill the person. But hope lets them survive. It is a torcher. It is a slow poison.
Attachment is one of the most well-known reasons for heartbreak. A heartbroken person finds it extremely difficult to let go of the attachments. Letting go is loosening the grip of something you are attached to that is beyond your control - it is in the control of the universe. One of the greatest fears on the mind of the heartbroken person is the change that is going to happen in their life. A heartbroken person has to take an unknown path now. He/She has to begin again. It is an extremely slow process to grow as a heartbroken person is generally at the lowest phase of his/her life. The unknown path is so scary that it takes a brave heart to walk on it. It is not easy. Believe me! It is not at all easy for any f'king human. But the foremost thing to do is to start the journey on the unknown path. This is what letting go is all about - accepting and starting a new journey. Accepting that change is the only constant. If you remain attached, i.e, if you choose to stick on the same path, you will never discover anything new. You will go through the same emotions over and over again. Only when you choose the unknown path, you will discover the change. All the magic happens on the unknown path!
What is the end result of a heartbreak? Humans are born to resist change. Every person thinks that their thoughts, opinions, and their ways of doing things are the best. Every person resists improvements. They can't stand the opinions of others. This is the best part about heartbreak. Heartbreaks give one the capability to reflect on oneself. It leaves large spaces for introspection. The person has to begin again and this is where the person could change. Heartbreaks are probably the only way to truly change a person by heart. The person is forced to build the heart again - with fresh emotions, leaving behind the bad ones. In this universe, change is the only constant. Think of heartbreaks as a way that this universe wants to teach you a lesson, a way that this universe wants to speak to you. The universe is not your enemy. The universe is your friend who wants you to change. Heartbreak is the language of the universe to change your thoughts, your opinions, and your ways. Just make sure you make a positive sense out of the dialect.
So, if you know someone who has been heartbroken, just remember that it is the greatest suffering for the human. Emphathize and have compassion for him/her. Have patience because it is going to be longer than you think. And if you are the one who has been heartbroken, remember that it has never been easy, it is a battle with your mind which makes it feel like it is a battle with the universe; you have to heal the wounds and get up - leaving behind all the old thoughts and re-establishing your identity as an evolved version of yourself, detaching and letting go of the person who led you in this situation and walking on the unknown path to discover the magic that is yet to come.